Surgeon’s Gallstone Jewelry Earns Etsy Ban


Created from an original photo by Kriss Szkurlatowski

TOPEKA, KS – In his professional life, Dr. Grawser was known as the grunt man of Topeka Memorial Hospital’s general surgery service.  On days off and quiet evenings, he was better known by his Etsy profile “2CUT-is-2CUTE.”  Etsy, a popular on-line forum for marketing everything from elegant Star Wars Wookie earrings to household essentials such as over 3,400 different fake cupcakes, became Grawser’s secret obsession.  He started with necklaces made from discarded roofing nails, and quickly climbed the ranks of Etsy’s most popular sellers.

“I’ve always loved working with my hands, and when I’m home at night, hand-making fine jewelry seems like a natural thing to do,” he said as he showed us around his garage-turned jewelry studio.

But one day late in 2011, his new interest took a turn for the bizarre when his two hobbies collided.  He says that the idea for transforming his surgical specimens into art occurred to him one afternoon in the surgical theater as he gazed at the splashes of light bouncing off of a gallstone lying in the surgical tray.  When no one was looking, he pocketed the stone and took it home to polish.

What began as a single gallstone became a booming business, and Grawser’s talents captured the hearts of many Etsy aficionados, but few knew the quirky stories behind his beautiful handiwork.

“I was leading a double life.  If my colleagues had discovered my passion for hand-crafted jewelry, they’d have laughed me out of the OR lounge.”  If his patients had known that their stones were ending up around the necks of fashionistas, laughter might not have been their first response.  If fashionistas had known where the whimsical and charming pieces of jewelry got their start, they also might not have been so enthusiastic.

“He’s a disgusting man.  I knew that from the second he first walked into the room because his chest hair stuck out of his scrub shirt.  I’m not surprised a bit,” said Kathy Dunkrick, the former patient who incidentally discovered her own tumor on a gorgeous seasonal pendant which she purchased from “2CUT-is-2CUTE.”

She reported her complaint to both Etsy and Topeka Memorial Hospital.  Etsy promptly banned Grawser from the site and the hospital is trying to decide what to do about Dr. Grawser’s handiwork.  “We don’t exactly have a precedent for punishing this type of behavior,” said the hospital’s Chief Medical Officer, “but we’ve suspended his hospital privileges until we sort it all out.”

Etsy, vendor for such high-class items as this Barry Manilow body pillow, issued a formal statement:  “We hold all of our items to a very high standard of quality, and “2CUT-is-2CUTE” has broken trust with our customer in such a way that will no longer permit participation in our wonderful marketplace.”

From Etsy vendor “manllow

Robbed of his two loves, Dr. Grawser sits in his garage listening to the soothing hum of his rock polisher and weeps for a day when his talent and ingenuity will again be recognized.

“I just have to remind myself that Picasso and Van Gogh faced a similar sort of persecution in their day.  Everyone said that they were crazy, but history has a way of revealing real genius.”

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DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious, created in the interest of humor. They are the ripe and, sometimes, rotten fruit borne from the fecund imagination of the Daily Medical Examiner creative staff, and any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.

3 thoughts on “Surgeon’s Gallstone Jewelry Earns Etsy Ban

  1. “He’s a disgusting man. I knew that from the second he first walked into the room because his chest hair stuck out of his scrub shirt.

    I think this was the funniest (and most redeeming) line of the story!

  2. Pingback: Hopeful Surgeons Grow in Gardens | Hopeful Doc

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