Doo and You: What the Bristol Stool Chart Tells Us About Personality

BOSTON, MA – A study published in the Journal of Excremental Studies this week reveals new secrets from a timeless tool.  In 1997, the Bristol Stool Scale forever changed the way that we think about stool and, thus, life.  Distilling thousands of years of observation into a simple chart which encompasses the whole range of human experience, the Bristol Stool Scale, discovered by Dr. Ken Heaton, is the crowning achievement of the University of Bristol and stands as a testament to human progress.  In it’s original form, the chart made simple observations about the character and spectrum of feces, offering useful terms to help with categorization.

The original, 1997, Bristol Stool Scale

The original, 1997, Bristol Stool Scale

New advances in modern medicine, however, show that the Bristol Stool Chart is more than just a catalog of waste; it is the essence of human nature in material form.   Based on rigorous scientific speculation, the Expanded Bristol Stool Chart was created to demonstrate that the inner workings of our psyche are revealed through fecal study.

The Expanded Bristol Stool Chart provides useful insights into personality and helpful advice for decisions.

The Expanded Bristol Stool Chart provides useful insights into personality and helpful advice for decisions.

Lessons learned from the Bristol Stool Chart have spawned a novel field of medicine, known as Gastrology, which attempts to predict the future based on fecal analysis.  Peruse the new chart and allow its wisdom to renew your faith and interest in humanity.  As always, in the rapidly changing waves of medicine, The Daily Medical Examiner will remain your anchor and your beacon in the storm.

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DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious, created in the interest of humor. They are the creative work of the Daily Medical Examiner staff, and any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.

4 thoughts on “Doo and You: What the Bristol Stool Chart Tells Us About Personality

  1. Pingback: Home Fecal Transplant Kit at the Top of Many Christmas Wish Lists | the Daily Medical Examiner

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