Health Breakthrough: Doritos Offers Plastic Claw to Help American Kids Reach Its Newest Flavor.

Doritos Claw

PLANO, TX – Frito-Lay, Inc., made the breathtaking announcement this week that it’s newest flavor, Salsa Verde, will also include a 2-foot plastic claw (called the “SnackMaster”) which will help facilitate hours of wholesome snacking satisfaction for the children of America.

Frito-Lay’s chief of publicity, Martin Drimmler, offered us at the DME his take on this latest innovation in snack time accessibility.

“This is a game-changer. Previously, kids who were too sedentary or unmotivated to get off the couch to reach the Doritos bag would not have been able to engage in the snacking freedom enjoyed by their peers. The patented Doritos claw levels the playing field by giving all kids the liberty to go back to the bag time and time again without the fatigue that would have stopped them.”

Researchers at rival snacking giant Nabisco – who were initially caught off guard by this week’s bold leap in technology – are reportedly already countering by working on an “Oreo Shoot” which will drop cookies directly into the waiting mouths of the nation’s children.

 

2 thoughts on “Health Breakthrough: Doritos Offers Plastic Claw to Help American Kids Reach Its Newest Flavor.

  1. Great idea! The other advantage of this innovative DME is not more “orange” fingers to have to contend with or wash off!!! Brilliant!

Share your thoughts with the DME...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s