Dallas Cowboys Call Palliative Care Consult for Tony Romo

ARLINGTON, TX – After another devastating physical setback for veteran quarterback Tony Romo, America’s Team has decided to take a new approach to medical care for its aging centerpiece. Romo, who suffered a compression fracture of his L1 vertebra in late August, has been the victim of numerous health-related challenges in recent seasons. “Our current approach of…

Pioneering Surgeon Offers Amputation of Restless Legs

CALEDONIA, ND – Despite the recent approval of prescription medications used in the treatment of debilitating Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS), many patients continue to struggle with their illness even after medical treatment.  One daring general surgeon at University of Eastern North Dakota Medical Center (UENDMC) is taking his scalpel and bone saw in hand in order to…

Sloppy Oregon Neurosurgeon Skips 12-Point Review of Systems

PORTLAND, OR – Horror and indignation filled the Oregon medical community late last week when allegations emerged that during a routine pre-operative visit for upcoming spine surgery, veteran neurosurgeon Christopher Bradfordlen did not complete the full 12-point review of systems which he documented in his note from that day.  Closed circuit television cameras caught his remarkably abridged history and…